Now I Feel Responsible
My blog, a little over six months old, has become popular. Until now, I have been able to write about anything that occurred to me, not really caring how many people paid attention. Now I feel I have a standard to uphold, and I fear this will cramp my style -- which I didn't try to have. No doubt this phenomenon is part of being or feeling responsible.
I have seen this happen before. When the Canadian Museums Association was put together, with little or no money, it had a real flavour because of the personalities of the eager volunteers. With time, and growth, and hired hands who saw to their own survival, quite naturally some of this flavour was lost. We oldsters hardly recognize it now, even if occasionally we receive some honour for our contributions in the past. I fear this will happen in the free, accidental world of blogs, including my own.
Part of this might be a holding back from subject matter or treatment that could offend some category of readers. Part might be an inclination to look for stuff which will be even more popular. Now there is a foot on the brake and a foot on the accelerator, if ever I've seen one (or two). No matter. Whatever happens, I know I am now a thoroughly hooked blogger.
87 Comments:
No, please don't change the flavour or style of your blog-writing. Please continue as you have intended. I really enjoy your blog. Thank you for it.
I honestly hope you do not change your style. You are popular because of the way you write. Being the age you are and embracing the new technology as you do, you must also realize that no one is being forced to read your words.
While you are scared to offend those who may read your site, you risk offending others even more by limiting yourself. The people who want to read what you have to say are going to read it, those that find it offensive are just going to go on to the next blogger.
Keep yourself true, it is the whole point of the blogs anyway.
don,
you have attracted this attention because you are candid--a trait i most admire. one has to be brave to be so honest. i sent your last entry to my mother who has always said she doesn't want to get old. it makes me sad thinking that she might will herself to a prematurely early rest and not be here to experience her grandchildren growing up. i sent your last entry to her out of selfishness on my part. oh the joy when she wrote me back and said that after seeing things through your eyes she is now reconsidering what was an unwavering stance.
t h a n k y o u ! ! !
Samuel Butler said:
"Every man's work, whether it be literature or music or pictures or architecture or anything else, is always a portrait of himself"
Don't change anything man!
Don, what you describe is a very common phenomenon among bloggers who notice they are achieving a readership. When one starts a blog, one has no mandate. It is purely a personal indulgence. But as the thing gets popular, one starts to feel there is a mandate, and as a result, one feels the pressure to uphold that mandate.
But of course, that's a mandate that comes entirely from yourself. Unlike a newspaper column, or a museum project, or a television show -- where there is a clearly defined mandate and an expectation that it be upheld -- there is no one over your shoulder telling you what you should or shouldn't do with your blog.
That's the beauty of it.
So if you feel some kind of pressure, rest assured that it's not coming from us (your readers). I mean really -- if you offend us or disappoint us, what are we going to do? Stop reading? And if we did, it's not like advertising sales will go down, or the lights in your living room will dim or your beer will go flat.
I for one like what you're doing. Just keep doing it however you see fit!
hi don,
I read your blog for the first time yesterday and I returned to it today. I agree with other commentors that it is your candid account of whatever is on your mind on a given day that makes it pleasant and refreshing to read. Please don't feel that you have to cater to anyone.
thank you!
metalmags
Please! Offend me!! Seriously. People offending other people is just part of the spice of life.
Seems to be an echo in here...
Don, you set your own standards. You are responsible only to yourself. You've attracted a readership based on what you've already done, so why would you feel any pressure to change?
Don't hold back because you think you might "offend" someone. If any of us disagree with what you say, we'll let you know. Then you reply. Then we answer. It's called "conversation." ;-)
Welcome to blogaddiction!
Don you're 90-something, I bet you didn't get to this point in your life listening or living up to anyone elses standards. Honestly, what makes you hip it and tres readable is your experience and personality. Sure, I might not have found you without the help of Digg but I'm staying because you are you. And that's all I need. All Don all the time. *smile*
I intend no offense, but at your age and stage in your life, you have an unprecedented amount of freedom to speak your mind. After all, you have no job to lose, your reputation is made, and you have age and experience to back you up.
I write a very conservative blog because I always imagine that everyone at work is reading it. Yet still, I find myself occasionally questioning something as possibly offensive. Anytime this happens I remind myself that this is where the interesting stuff is and I forge ahead.
Stay hooked, Don. You write what is true to you and what you feel matters.
When I blogged about you in September or so, I truly felt I had stumbled across something wonderful. I'm happy to see you've achieved this popularity.
For whatever it's worth, it means you reach out to people. And that's what we crave for: being touched and inspired.
Yeah, what they all said.
-Mike
Your readers exist because they value your unique perspective. Your flavor, your outlook - it's special, uncommon and desired.
You're the chef - you cook it your way, and leave the reviews to others. Some will like it, some won't. You know you can't possibly please everyone and it's a waste of time to try.
Tell your internal editor to get lost and call things as you see 'em.
If by some chance you offend someone, they will stop reading your blog. You have never claimed to be a voice of the masses, just a voice we choose to listen to. Like dean said "We're here for you, not the other way around."
Don't ever change Don!
I remember when I had that same feeling when my blog started getting read. It's kind of a natural bump that I think we all need to get over. The advice that a friend gave me was that it was because I was being honest that people continued to read.
Don't worry about the day-to-day or agonize over this or that word or entry. Readership will always go up and down, things change, etc. Over the long haul, it's not what you say it's who you are and how you say it/see life that make your blog. We've all been appreciative of what you've had to share and I know that I for one look forward to being with you as you grow and change through this process. Good luck.
Keep in mind that a blog and a museum are very different in one important respect. If you screw up a museum, you affect many people's lives directly - jobs are lost, life savings may disappear, your ability to earn a living could be harmed for years. It's YOUR blog. YOU are the only one affected by anything YOU do. No risk here so live large and let the chips (or electrons) fall where they may.
If you develop a style as a result of learning and growth, well that's just all good.
Keep up the good work.
and we are thoroughly hooked readers. :)
I found you through BOING BOING and really enjoy your writing.
Once your audience finds you it's very common to feel that pressure and paranoia. You describe the experience eloquently.
Keep posting what is true to your own heart.
Don, it's your honesty (among other things) that makes this so wonderful. Just be who you are and we'll continue to enjoy it - as long as you do. The reaction to your last blog tells me that we all think about our humanity and lack of immortality. I think we'll be pleasantly surprised "on the other side". We are none of us in a rush to get there but I expect it will be the next big adventure. More than likely we will meet on the other side.
I'm currently in your neck of the woods for a week or so. All in all, I prefer Halifax:) Keep on bloggin'
You must absolutely always write what you feel and think. Forget trying to please anyone except yourself, in all ways...:)ciao
Not every post can be your best, so don't fret if they aren't all "perfect"; just keep saying whatever's on your mind in whatever way is natural for you to say it, and people will keep reading your blog. xo
I don’t know if Don to Earth reads this, but If so I want to send him a belated 93rd happy birthday message. While I have never met Don and know him exclusively through his blog, I appreciate his mind, his wit and the clarity with which he communicates whatever is on his mind. I think that he is an example of someone who is conscious and responsible for his age, but not limited by it. His claim to being the world’s oldest blogger has a touch of fun and a grin rather than any sort of self-congratulatory air to it.
I was hoping to meet Don one time when I went to Halifax where I thought he lived. Turns out he was from there but now lives elsewhere. I wanted to ask him what he thought of my thesis that while we age into a culture of decline we have a choice about who we are and how we relate to the whole process of aging. I want to listen to my elders share their experience of growing older and I want to appreciate their ground of being and how they observe the same things I am observing from a vantage point 25 years or so younger.
I realize today that most of my life I heard what older people said, but I an not sure I listened — too caught up in my own often misplaced certainty, dare I say arrogance, that while giving me a full and successful life lacked so much possibility had I listened. Oh I know the adage that we need to learn our own lessons, but I would so much like to give some of my young colleagues a bit of what I have learned as either a ‘jumpstart’ on their own journey or perhaps a shortcut to more challenging horizons. Today I shared a bit of what some coaching friends and I have concluded about making the most of the second half which boils down to ‘going for it’. Don is obviously going to keep going for it until the last day – that is inspiring.
Don’s blog is just a man sharing his experience and his views. Each few days as I read what he has to say I learn a little bit more about myself and how we can all be as we age and become more and more authentic. Don’t blog today mused whether he needs to become more responsible, more self-conscious, more ‘careful’ now that so many of us read his scratchings. From one reader Don, don’t waste a minute of whatever time you have left worrying about me and what I will think. I just want to listen.
Schrödinger's cat strikes again! How will we ever know where we really are, who we really are?
Oops. That Schrödinger's cat post was me--I think.
Post what you want. It's your blog. The reason it became popular is because of what you write. You are an individual human being who has something to say. Say "it," and not what you think others want to hear. I have a blog dedicated to synths. I get people criticizing it all the time, but I keep reminding myself it's not a publication, it's just my blog. I post what I want and if people like it, great, if not so be it. If people want something else they can start there own blog. That's the beauty of it.
Just post what you feel like posting. Don't entertain. Life is too short for that.
I like reading what other people write and I particularly enjoy it - when it's not popular- or even when it's something I don't believe in myself. Those are the times that I seem to learn the most.
I write on Livejournal now and then - I too, have a bit of a love/hate relationship with blogging and the "expectation" of the people who are reading it.
enjoy the rest of your life
It is your life, your page, your thoughts, your opinion. Do NOT change at all. You need to be you; if you change for others sake, to keep others from being offended, then you lose who you are!
And besides, no matter what you do or how hard you try you will step on somebodies toes. If they don't like it, they don't have to read your blog, now do they?!!?
Remember all that your parents taught you and be loyal to God, Don. Having to go doesn't have to be sorrow - Rejoice that you'll soon see Him and all your family and friends soon - Just a little sooner than the rest of us. :)
In Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,
Mr. Crowdis,
I recently was sent a link to your blog and find it refreshingly candid and honest. I would be most disappointed if you changed your style.
Currently, I am neglecting housework to read past installments. ;)
My only regret is that I can't meet you in person to give you a hug.
Amy
Please oh please, "to thine own self be true" As John Jimenez said in his comment, if someone finds what you say to be offensive, they will just go on to the next blogger. There is something out there in the blogosphere for each of us.
I sincerely hope you don't change the blog as I truly enjoy the topics and your style. To me the blog is like reading something my grandparents would have written to me had they had the opportunity. Imparting their wisdom, values, and forcing me to step back and realize that this thing we call life doesn't last forever.
I hope you don't change for anyone.
[virtual hug]
There is nothing you have to change to keep me from stopping and reading this blog. I am 68 and you inspire me to keep learning. I am now learning how to type online with lessons. I am getting tired of pecking around here.
I've only recently discovered your blog (a gift from my son) but something tells me your sense of responsibility will 'underweigh' your beautiful ability to be you. Thanks. I'll be back.
There are so many hokey songs I could paraphrase here, but the long and the short of it is, it's inevitable that someone will find something to take offense at. People always do. So, with that in mind, I'd say plow ahead and just please yourself. Don't worry about us.
Please dont change your views or thoughts here. I came directly to your page for the mere fact I want to know and hear what a man that has survived and lived for 93 years has to tell what is running through his mind. In this slim chance of rarity that I can hear the very thoughts of this man's unbridled opinions and feelings. I would never get to do this any other way. I dont know anyone that old. I find it a rare chance to learn from someone with the wisdom of 93 years. Good or bad your raw thoughts are important to us not as entertainment but as pure untainted thoughts of man of your age. I find it very interesting to hear and learn from so please keep them raw and unstaged.
Read the comment by "Serene Ambition" again. He is addressing us; Don's readers, and not Don personally. I like this. It is a refreshing change to the normal format. People always seem to feel obliged to address their comments to the blogger.
To me it is similar to a teacher talking to a class and everbody is listening intently, when someone walks to the front and stands in front of the teacher, and facing the class, puts their point of view.
Don, I echo the voice of the others in the comments column. We are here because we enjoy being here and reading your posts. If you change your style in the mistaken impression that you feel you ought to, then I for one would be disappointed in you and would probably drift away from this site.
I came to visit via serene ambitions link, and I am so glad that I did.
Don, from reading through your archives, it seems to me that a theme runs through all your posts; you are sharing with us from a vast store of memories and experiences, a legacy, I guess, of having stayed alive for such a long time, and having contributed so much.
I doubt your original intention was to become some sort of blogger guru, that's obviously happened because of the way you've done things up to now - so why change? Or worry about it either?
Thanks for some great stories - and the inspiration.
I guess people read u because of the current style. what is the point if u change it?
Although, come to think about it, I dare say that even if u did change ur style, people would still read u. That's got to do with what u say and who u r, and u can't change that (ok, not a lot...)
waiting for the next post.
heady stuff, isn't it? I started my journal 6 years ago with a readership of a few people. Now it's exploded and it's both my obsession and my albatross (more obsession than albatross). I do feel a responsibility to write something at least somewhat readable.
Your blog is perhaps the most engaging I've read. I'm new to the blogging game but I'm sure I'll look to your style and honesty for inspiration in the months and years to come. In other words Don, "don't change a thing".
Don -
What ever it is you feel like you have to say I hope you will say it.
Don't mince words with us - we can take it.
You are old enough to be my father and I for one need to hear what you have to say before the time run out.
Granny Miller
I am so glad I found your blog via a blogger friend by his tribute. What I see here is pure gem.We all need to gain from your experience and your wisdom.
Keep writing and just be yourself.
Why change for other people? Remember why you started the blog in the first place.
Change is not often a good thing and being an old fella like yourself you would know all too well the disastrous concequences of change. So don't do it.
I love the way old guys tell it like it is. Some very good friends of mine are in their 70s and 80s and it's so awesome someone who at my age, 31, can get to sit and listen to their tales their way.
Keep it up and don't feel responsible for anyone reading this blog.
Tell us all your life your way. Truth is better than fiction.
tell it like you find it!
rashbre
I just came by to say, thank you for writing. One fear I've had is of losing my mental acuity when I grow older. But to see you writing so eloquently and so clearly, that just gives me hope. I admire you so much.
P.S. - Don't change your style, don't censor yourself. Say what you want to say, regardless of what others might think. I will help contribute to any legal defense fund for you in the event that some shitface wants to sue you for what you say.
Yes, I understand. This happened to me in a blog that I wrote for over five years. I've decided to change and continue writing, but for personal viewing only. I've gone back to journaling the old fashioned way; with pen to paper. Thank you though, for a glimpse into your existence and realizing that age doesn't always mean that you've "figured it all out". -ajoy2be@yahoo.com
Hey Don
Thanks for helping to create the Ontario Science Center, which I've always loved. I hope to bring my daughter (now 2) there someday.
Keep on blogging, now more than ever!
I know exactly what you're saying. The people that read you come back because they identify with the stuff you post. Then you start being able to predict which of your own opinions and thoughts will be well received - you know their personalities. And so you also know, or at least can have a pretty good idea, of the stuff they'll find offensive (or just disagree).
It's sort of a leap of faith to say "I'll post it anyway - if they like me they'll stick with me, agreeing or not". Which they will, probably. You'll find that people like the way you view things more than what your views are.
Now, regarding the many "don't change for other people, be yourself", that's beautiful. Quite naive, too. Changing for other people or adjusting to fit are just some of the things we must do in order to live, progress, relate, grow. "Being oneself" is highly overrated these days. Let's bring back to style the beauty of balancing uniqueness and discipline!
Please keep on writing exactly as you have been, with wit, wisdom, humour, and honesty!
A pox on political correctness!
Don,
I really enjoy reading your blog - please continue writing and sharing.
Oh, please, dear, I think you've earned the right to offend or disappoint anyone in the world... anyone other than yourself, that is!
I can think of one writer on the web -- Mr. Red Blanchard, a wonderful old-time radio personality, a mere child, all of 7 years younger than you -- who shocked me with his anti-Democratic Party trolling on his own website in 2004. Did I stop checking his site? Did I stop loving his great work of former days? No, never.
Don,
The only responsibility you have is to be yourself.
That's why we are here.
Aimee
Don, omigosh you can't stop the way you write. It is you 'Don'... there are too many of us enjoying all the things you have to say. 'You are an awesome Writer' and you've got too may of us interested in your thoughts...
NO, please don't change your style. Keep writing from your hear.
I am repeating what others have said because I totally agree with them--don't change a thing Don! Be yourself--it's YOUR blog not ours. We're just lucky to get to read it.
Just don't worry about it...go for broke!!
Your blog is really interesting. I like it. I surely come back here!
From Italy Aquilachecorre (Elisa)
don't pay attention to the numbers. Just keep doing your thing. You're great. Trust yourself
Don´t censor yourself, you are wonderful just as you are!
a thoroughly hooked blogger? How are you these days our old friend? It has been a long time you have not update your blog.
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I think that what you said was actually very reasonable.
However, think on this, what if you added a little information?
I ain't suggesting your information is not good., however suppose you added a post title that grabbed folk's
attention? I mean "Now I Feel Responsible" is kinda plain.
You ought to glance at Yahoo's front page and note how they write post headlines to grab people to click. You might add a video or a pic or two to get people interested about what you've written.
In my opinion, it could make your posts a little bit more interesting.
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