Friday, December 15, 2006

Words Of Wisdom

Recently, I bought a book at a temporary stall set up in the entrance to a Salvation Army hospital. It cost $11.99, and in retrospect I should have bought more of their books. It is called "8000 Things You Should Know", and thanks to plagiarism, it could supply blog material for as long as I live. I suppose not all 8000 will be "words of wisdom", but undoubtedly some of them will. In the spirit of that book, here are a few other insightful (and pithy) remarks. These are taken from an old clipping of unknown origin, and I hereby borrow them for "my" column.
  • Mark Twain: Golf is a good walk spoiled.
  • Lily Tomlin: The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.
  • Groucho Marx: Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
  • Voltaire: The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.
  • Gioacchino Rossini: How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
  • John Ciardi: There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.
  • Woody Allen: I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in 20 minutes. It involves Russia.
  • Dorothy Parker: Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
  • G.K. Chesterton: To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it.
I have some words of wisdom of my own that I have amassed over the years. But enough — I don't want to overdo it. As Solomon mysteriously admonished, "Do not be overly wise".


At 6:36 AM, Blogger MadameBoffin said...

Thank you John Ciardi for giving me Christmas drink justification this festive season ;)

I love that Voltaire is as amusing and as valid today as he was back then - timeless!

At 9:15 AM, Anonymous Andre Chiasson said...

"Wherever you go - there you are" - don't know who said it.

At 3:01 PM, Anonymous Ook said...

“Weinberg’s Second Law: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.”

“When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind.” — Seneca (4 B.C - 65 A.D.)

“We must continue to open in the face of tremendous opposition. No one is encouraging us to open and still we must peel away the layers of the heart.” –Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche

“Everyone knows what to do except me.” –Fred

“If you don’t like the news, go make some.” –A radio news anouncer in Berkley during the ’60’s

“The reason I and, I think, everyone else who went over there and studied came back here is that the U.S. is the best place to be a Muslim.” –Abdule; caller on Talk of the Nation: NPR

“Water and air, the two essential fluids on which all life depends, have become global garbage cans.” —Jacques Yves Cousteau

"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking." —Steven Wright

“What in this situation justifies my withholding my love.” –Robert

“‘You know, it’s at times like this when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young!’

“‘Why, what did she tell you?’

“‘I don’t know, I didn’t listen!’” — Douglas Adams, “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

“A blossom is the final fleeting detail on a miraculous and arduous course of survival oriented events we call a flower.” --moi

Would you rather loose your values for money or your money for values? There isn’t much area between. --moi

At 4:31 PM, Blogger whitesnake said...

Both Optimists and Pessimists contribute to our world!
Optimists invented the plane.
Pessimists the parachute!

At 5:48 PM, Blogger THE Michael said...

Snake, now THAT was brilliant! lol

Don, keep them coming. We won't allow you to die before you have given us all 8000, PLUS your own.....

and we can only handle maybe five a post......

and no more than three posts a week......

At 3:43 AM, Anonymous beefhaze said...

I have enjoyed reading these quoted words of wisdom, but I am more excited about, and eagerly anticipating, reading some of your own.
I find that my respect for, and enjoyment of, your writing somehow grows with each new post. I consider myself lucky to have the chance to learn from you, and I cannot imagine the right words to properly thank you for that.
Much love from San Francisco,
-Forest (aka beefhaze)

At 9:56 AM, Anonymous Noantri said...

Woody Allen: I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in 20 minutes. It involves Russia.

This is terrific!
A great hug from Rome, Italy ;-)

At 9:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don - The holidays are right around the corner and it would be great if you shared your list of 'Donisms'; it would be a great way to wrap up the year!

Warm regards from Boston.
p.s. how is your wife doing?

At 4:06 PM, Blogger SpiN said...

my favorite from an ancient greek philosopher:

all I know is that I know nothing.

At 5:22 PM, Blogger CM said...

I tell people, "Evil always aims to please."

At 9:07 AM, Anonymous dan murray said...

Losing a friendship is like losing a child.

At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROFL. U R TEH n00b. U R NOT TEH 1337

At 12:51 AM, Anonymous S.Thompson said...

I just came across your site and I love it ! I hope your able to keep inspiring us! Perhaps, we fan's can put our great minds together and plan a huge surprise to congratulate you on your 100th birthday!! I would love to call you Dr.Don,the wisest owl !

At 3:23 AM, Blogger Nevin said...

Don, et al...

Here's something I've come up with that seems appropriate for you and your situation...

"Dying hasn't killed anybody yet." -me

I hail from Dalhousie, NB. Cheers to a fellow maritimer.


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